Tag Archive | Hope

So Deceiving

Hey Reader’s! It’s currently 3 in the morning, and I’m just laying in my bed right now (after having to walk to the bathroom and back), thinking about how crazy it is that my legs can be experiencing the level of pain they are right now, and look completely fine. Like, how is this much pain not visible for all to see?! Yeah, there may be some swelling, but for the times when I don’t swell up (like now), it just blows my mind. I feel like this amount of pain should be physically seen by all. I guess in a way it is, because it’s a lot harder for me to walk, that’s IF I’m able to walk, at all. I’m laying here looking at my legs, and they look as fine as can be…LIES. Anyway, this may just be the pain and pain meds talking. I hope everyone else is having a pain free morning. Later!

So deceiving

When Will It End?

When will it stop? When will people realize we are all created equal, and should treat each other as such? I’m tired. I’m tired of constantly seeing black people killed for no reason other than the color of their skin! I have just come to the conclusion that it will never change. Black people have been fighting for equal rights for too long, and we’re still having to deal with the same racist people/government. Jacob Blake was shot IN THE BACK seven times by the police! While protests were going on for this senseless shooting, a 17 year old white male, Kyle Rittenhouse, was able to walk around freely with a AR-15 and shot 3 people, killing 2 of them. Racism is just so blatant now, it’s astonishing. There’s video of officers telling this male: “we appreciate you being here”, while he’s just casually walking around with this semi-automatic rifle. He was even handed a bottle of water from one of the officers in an armed vehicle. Once he shot these 3 people, he casually walked up to a group of police officers and told them that he shot someone. Did they arrest him then? No. They just let him walk on by, completely unharmed. Now, why is it that this white male is still alive after killing people, but Jacob Blake is paralyzed now because he turned his back on the police while trying to get away? So, that’s how it works now? Everyone that tries to flee from the police now don’t get tasered, tackled to the ground, chased, or any other number of tactics to arrest them? Or is this really just because of the color of his skin? Some people are so scared of black people because they feel like we are such a huge threat to them, that they feel the only way to go about things is to kill us. I really try to not let these racist things get to me, and change my viewpoint on things, but it’s getting harder to do. The world is becoming scarier by the day. There’s so many other things to be focused on besides the color of someone’s skin. I will never understand that level of hatred, and I don’t want to. I don’t know what the solution is, or if there ever will be one, but from the looks of it, we’re a long way away from that. I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe whenever I leave my house, because I don’t know if someone will try to harm me because of my skin. I’m tired of it. So sick of the hate.

Quote Of The Day

We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead. Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Hey Reader’s! It’s sad that in 2020, this concept is still not accepted by all. I feel like every time humanity takes a step forward, something happens that pushes us right back. We can’t give up faith that changes will come, though!

Not All Disabilities Are Visible

Hey Reader’s! So, today I was just brainstorming ideas on different blog topics to write about, and while brainstorming online, I came across this article about someone being judged for having a handicapped sticker. The person looked completely fine physically, so people jumped to conclusions, and thought the person was faking having a disability. A lot of people fail to realize that not all disabilities are seen by the naked eye. The amount of times I’ve been judged based on the way I look alone, is plentiful. The sad part is: most of the judging was from medical professionals. As a person with Sickle Cell, if I’m not screaming my head off in pain, a lot of Doctor’s think nothing is wrong with me. It’s sad, because they are the ones who should understand the most out of everyone. But, the negative treatment by Doctor’s is for another blog (stay tuned for that). I’ve needed to get a handicapped sticker for literally, years now, but one of the main reasons I haven’t is because I know how some people will look at me, and just assume I’m using someone else’s sticker, or lied about being disabled. Yes, physically I look fine, but what people fail to see are the days when I am so sick I can barely walk. Even when it’s not that bad, most days when I go out, I get very tired, to the point where my family usually have to bring the car up close to whatever place we’re at so I don’t have to walk all the way to the car. With a handicapped sticker, that obviously wouldn’t be a problem anymore. I absolutely hate hearing: “you don’t look sick”. Looks, as we should all know by now, can be deceiving. I was actually denied disability the first time, because the doctor who did the exam for it, literally told me I looked fine; then of course, a few weeks later I found out I was denied. The automatic judgement from people never ceases to amaze me. I’m going to stop worrying about what other people think, and just get the handicapped sticker. I’m not hurting anyone but myself by not having it. So please, don’t be so quick to judge someone in the future, because you never really know what that person is going through.

Chest Pains…

Hey Reader’s. So, I’ve been having chest pains on and off for over two weeks now. In my previous blog, I wrote about the difficulties of living with Sickle Cell, during a pandemic. Well, one thing I forgot to mention is the fact that I have also been having chest pains, and there is basically nothing I can do about it. Sickle Cell chest pains are already difficult to deal with, I’m sure my fellow Warrior’s can attest to that; pain medication for some reason doesn’t touch chest pain, at all. So, to be dealing with this during a pandemic, is very hard to do. Thankfully it hasn’t gotten as bad as I KNOW it can get (which is crying my eyes out, bad). I have been having slight trouble taking deep breaths, and when I start moving around too much, it hurts worse. I’ve had pneumonia several times, so I don’t think that’s what it is, but if I keep having trouble taking deep breaths, I’m worried that’s what it can turn into. I know that my blood is low, so maybe that has something to do with the pain. I may have to just bite the bullet, and see if the Sickle Cell Day Clinic is even open right now for patients, and go get treatment if it is. I just don’t want to back myself into a corner to where I end up in a really bad crisis, and have no other choice but to go to the hospital. I will definitely keep you guys updated with this, so until next time!

Quote Of The Day

I absolutely love this quote! In life, there will always be some people who try to discourage you from your dreams. Whether that be because of your age, or their jealously, any number of reasons, really. As long as YOU keep believing in yourself, and keep your dreams alive, that’s all that matters. There are a lot of dreams of mine that I have yet to reach, because of my Sickle Cell, but I will never stop dreaming and having faith that everything will come together the way that it’s supposed to in my life. I had a dream of being in the healthcare industry, because I want to help people, the way I am helped. I went to school for Medical Assisting and graduated at the top of my class, so I know that it is possible! I may not be working now, due to my health, but I will never give up hope on my dreams, and neither should you!