Hey Reader’s! It’s currently 3 in the morning, and I’m just laying in my bed right now (after having to walk to the bathroom and back), thinking about how crazy it is that my legs can be experiencing the level of pain they are right now, and look completely fine. Like, how is this much pain not visible for all to see?! Yeah, there may be some swelling, but for the times when I don’t swell up (like now), it just blows my mind. I feel like this amount of pain should be physically seen by all. I guess in a way it is, because it’s a lot harder for me to walk, that’s IF I’m able to walk, at all. I’m laying here looking at my legs, and they look as fine as can be…LIES. Anyway, this may just be the pain and pain meds talking. I hope everyone else is having a pain free morning. Later!
Hey Reader’s. So, I’ve been having chest pains on and off for over two weeks now. In my previous blog, I wrote about the difficulties of living with Sickle Cell, during a pandemic. Well, one thing I forgot to mention is the fact that I have also been having chest pains, and there is basically nothing I can do about it. Sickle Cell chest pains are already difficult to deal with, I’m sure my fellow Warrior’s can attest to that; pain medication for some reason doesn’t touch chest pain, at all. So, to be dealing with this during a pandemic, is very hard to do. Thankfully it hasn’t gotten as bad as I KNOW it can get (which is crying my eyes out, bad). I have been having slight trouble taking deep breaths, and when I start moving around too much, it hurts worse. I’ve had pneumonia several times, so I don’t think that’s what it is, but if I keep having trouble taking deep breaths, I’m worried that’s what it can turn into. I know that my blood is low, so maybe that has something to do with the pain. I may have to just bite the bullet, and see if the Sickle Cell Day Clinic is even open right now for patients, and go get treatment if it is. I just don’t want to back myself into a corner to where I end up in a really bad crisis, and have no other choice but to go to the hospital. I will definitely keep you guys updated with this, so until next time!
“We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.” – John Updike
I love the simplicity of this quote because it’s straight to the point. In life, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. When I’m in pain (which I am now) and going through a Sickle Cell crisis, little quotes like this just reminds me that the pain won’t last forever. Once the crisis is over, I become a survivor, yet again. I will be a survivor, until the last one.
(Well…I thought I published this the day of my birthday, but apparently I didn’t, so…here you go! A few days late, but it still sends the same message.) Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Well, the Lord has allowed me to see another birthday. Honestly, my birthday is never a big deal to me. Don’t take that the wrong way, I’m very thankful for another year of life. I was literally just sick every single year my birthday came around. It’s also nearly impossible to plan for a birthday, when you don’t know if you’ll be sick or not when it comes around. So, I’m just very low key when it comes to that. This year is a little different for me, though. When I was younger, I always just assumed that I wouldn’t live to see my 30s. Studies showed that people with Sickle Cell lived to their early 30s, at the most. So it was always just in the back of my mind that I would probably die before I turned 30. Now, to be sitting here at age 31, is just a blessing to me. I know the life expectancy of a Sickler has gone up since then, but with the progression of how sick I was getting every year: it still didn’t look that good for me. Thankfully, God has the final say, and because of Him, I’ve made it to my 31st birthday!
So, as you all know by now, I usually do only one “quote of the day” BUT I found two really good ones that I can’t decide between. So, enjoy!
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’. – Erma Bombeck
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer