Tag Archive | Pain

So Deceiving

Hey Reader’s! It’s currently 3 in the morning, and I’m just laying in my bed right now (after having to walk to the bathroom and back), thinking about how crazy it is that my legs can be experiencing the level of pain they are right now, and look completely fine. Like, how is this much pain not visible for all to see?! Yeah, there may be some swelling, but for the times when I don’t swell up (like now), it just blows my mind. I feel like this amount of pain should be physically seen by all. I guess in a way it is, because it’s a lot harder for me to walk, that’s IF I’m able to walk, at all. I’m laying here looking at my legs, and they look as fine as can be…LIES. Anyway, this may just be the pain and pain meds talking. I hope everyone else is having a pain free morning. Later!

So deceiving

When Will It End?

When will it stop? When will people realize we are all created equal, and should treat each other as such? I’m tired. I’m tired of constantly seeing black people killed for no reason other than the color of their skin! I have just come to the conclusion that it will never change. Black people have been fighting for equal rights for too long, and we’re still having to deal with the same racist people/government. Jacob Blake was shot IN THE BACK seven times by the police! While protests were going on for this senseless shooting, a 17 year old white male, Kyle Rittenhouse, was able to walk around freely with a AR-15 and shot 3 people, killing 2 of them. Racism is just so blatant now, it’s astonishing. There’s video of officers telling this male: “we appreciate you being here”, while he’s just casually walking around with this semi-automatic rifle. He was even handed a bottle of water from one of the officers in an armed vehicle. Once he shot these 3 people, he casually walked up to a group of police officers and told them that he shot someone. Did they arrest him then? No. They just let him walk on by, completely unharmed. Now, why is it that this white male is still alive after killing people, but Jacob Blake is paralyzed now because he turned his back on the police while trying to get away? So, that’s how it works now? Everyone that tries to flee from the police now don’t get tasered, tackled to the ground, chased, or any other number of tactics to arrest them? Or is this really just because of the color of his skin? Some people are so scared of black people because they feel like we are such a huge threat to them, that they feel the only way to go about things is to kill us. I really try to not let these racist things get to me, and change my viewpoint on things, but it’s getting harder to do. The world is becoming scarier by the day. There’s so many other things to be focused on besides the color of someone’s skin. I will never understand that level of hatred, and I don’t want to. I don’t know what the solution is, or if there ever will be one, but from the looks of it, we’re a long way away from that. I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe whenever I leave my house, because I don’t know if someone will try to harm me because of my skin. I’m tired of it. So sick of the hate.

Chest Pains…

Hey Reader’s. So, I’ve been having chest pains on and off for over two weeks now. In my previous blog, I wrote about the difficulties of living with Sickle Cell, during a pandemic. Well, one thing I forgot to mention is the fact that I have also been having chest pains, and there is basically nothing I can do about it. Sickle Cell chest pains are already difficult to deal with, I’m sure my fellow Warrior’s can attest to that; pain medication for some reason doesn’t touch chest pain, at all. So, to be dealing with this during a pandemic, is very hard to do. Thankfully it hasn’t gotten as bad as I KNOW it can get (which is crying my eyes out, bad). I have been having slight trouble taking deep breaths, and when I start moving around too much, it hurts worse. I’ve had pneumonia several times, so I don’t think that’s what it is, but if I keep having trouble taking deep breaths, I’m worried that’s what it can turn into. I know that my blood is low, so maybe that has something to do with the pain. I may have to just bite the bullet, and see if the Sickle Cell Day Clinic is even open right now for patients, and go get treatment if it is. I just don’t want to back myself into a corner to where I end up in a really bad crisis, and have no other choice but to go to the hospital. I will definitely keep you guys updated with this, so until next time!

Quote Of The Day

“We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.” – John Updike

I love the simplicity of this quote because it’s straight to the point. In life, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. When I’m in pain (which I am now) and going through a Sickle Cell crisis, little quotes like this just reminds me that the pain won’t last forever. Once the crisis is over, I become a survivor, yet again. I will be a survivor, until the last one.

Sickle Cell Disease Crisis In The Hospital Video/Vlog

Hey Readers! I just uploaded another video for you all on my YouTube page. Check it out and let me know what you think. Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and comment!! This video wasn’t all that long; I just wanted to let y’all know what’s going on with me while it’s happening, not months later. Let’s get Sickle Cell Disease awareness out there people!

What Sickle Cell Pain Feels Like

Having Sickle Cell, I’m often asked the same question over and over again: what does Sickle Cell pain feel like? Every time someone ask me this I never have a straight answer. The reason why is because Sickle Cell pain can’t be described to someone who doesn’t have it. I say that because Sickle Cell pain is literally like no other pain. People without the disease have never and will never feel this pain. All I can say is that it’s excruciatingly painful; as a matter of fact when you look up Sickle Cell pain that’s how it is always described: excruciating pain. It’s so painful that when I’m going through a crisis I often wonder how my body is able to stand so much pain (yes, it’s that bad). Different people at the hospital have asked me this, that’s why I’m writing this blog. And yes, I’m still in the hospital, sadly. They don’t know if they want to give me a blood transfusion or not. If they don’t, I’ll be able to leave tomorrow (fingers crossed). Later readers!

Living with Sickle Cell Disease 2

Well I’m in the hospital once again. People are always shocked by how often I have to go to the hospital, but for me it’s just normal. I’ve been here for four days now and should be released sometime today; so this hospitalization is actually one of my shorter stays. I’m usually in here for a week or more. I’ve been having really bad stomach pains so that was the reason for this time. I didn’t even know Sickle Cell pains could be in the stomach but my doctors say that must be what it is, and plus while I was here my feet started hurting too and I know that’s from the Sickle Cell, so I guess their right. I’m so ready to go home! I’ve been getting sick a lot lately and haven’t really had the time to do anything. Hopefully after this my next crisis won’t happen for awhile. I’m still trying to get me and my moms jewelry business up and running, and being sick all the time is making that task almost impossible. I’m not a quitter though so it’ll get done. I’ve done so much with it already so I’m not giving up. Anyway…at least these past few visits to the hospital hasn’t required me needing anymore blood transfusions, I’ve had so many that I’ve lost count of them years ago. That’s why I have iron overload now which, of course, isn’t good. I’ve been in this hospital so many times that all the nurses know me (and my family) by name! I guess that’s good though, because when I come they know exactly how to care for me (including the doctors). Yeah, I may be in this hospital a lot but I am still truly blessed. My motto is: someone always has it worse. So even though my situation isn’t the best, I just constantly remind myself of that. That really helps too, for those days when I’m feeling sorry for myself or am in a lot of pain. Someone always has it worse… Bye!