Tag Archive | Sickness

My Easter Sunday

Hey my fellow Sickle Cell Warriors, and my lovely Readers! I just wanted to do a quick blog updating you all on how my hospital visit is going; this won’t be too long because I’m going to be doing a vlog soon also. Well, sadly I’m still in the hospital, I’ve been here now for a week and I’m sooo ready to leave! I thought for sure I would be leaving today, but of course, that’s not the case. The Doctor put me on a Magnesium I.V. drip, so I know I won’t bee going anywhere today. Hopefully tomorrow (fingers crossed). As you all know, today is Easter; I was really looking forward to being home with my family for today, but that’s not the case. I knew I wouldn’t be well enough to go to church or anything, but I would at least be able to spend Easter Sunday with my family, and have a nice big dinner with them. But, as my Warriors know all too well: Sickle Cell Disease has a mind of its own, and could care less about what we want to do, or have planned. So, here I am, alone and in the hospital on a holiday (once again). There is a bright side to this though… my parents came to the hospital, which I kinda figured they would. But when they got here, they had a gorgeous vase of white lilies and roses for me! They are so pretty, and the smell has the whole room smelling good. They also got me a big chocolate bunny, anyone that knows me, know I love chocolate. I know to some, this may not sound like much, but when you’re cooped up in the hospital with absolutely nothing to do, and you’re feeling down about being there, the littlest things can make you smile. Plus I don’t get flowers when I’m in the hospital, because I’m always there. Sadly, I’m not the only one that’s sick today: my brother is also sick. He started hurting today, and I think they said he was hurting all over, too…..but my brother is so hardheaded! He never goes to the hospital, he just stay home in terrible pain. I don’t know why he does that, especially when he is always lecturing me about going to the hospital. Oh well, I just hope he gets well soon, I hate when my brother is in pain, especially since I know exactly how bad that pain can be. Anyway, I hope you all had a great Easter Sunday, and to all my fellow Warriors: STAY STRONG!

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Sickle Cell Disease Crisis In The Hospital Video/Vlog

Hey Readers! I just uploaded another video for you all on my YouTube page. Check it out and let me know what you think. Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and comment!! This video wasn’t all that long; I just wanted to let y’all know what’s going on with me while it’s happening, not months later. Let’s get Sickle Cell Disease awareness out there people!

Waving The White Flag

Hello Readers! Well, I’m supposed to be released from the hospital today; I would usually be excited and more than ready to leave, but not this time. The reason I’m not is because I’m still having the same stomach problems. The Doctors all have different opinions on what the cause of the pain is, but they all agree that there is nothing they can do about it. I haven’t ate anything in the last 3 days, and I’ve been throwing up also. I know when I go home it’s only going to get worse. This has been a cycle for the past few years now. I just want one Doctor to come and actually try to figure out what the problem is, not guess. It’s so frustrating and draining coming back and forth to the hospital for the same problem. I already have to deal with having Sickle Cell, now I also have to deal with these terrible stomach problems. It’s one thing after another. I just want to disappear from it all, not have to feel anymore pain or visit anymore hospitals. I’m physically, mentally, spiritually, drained. I know God doesn’t put more on us than we can bare, but I feel like He’s pushing me to the max. I’m not a quitter, but I just feel like curling up in my bed and staying there. I’m only one person, my body can take only so much pain. I’m just tired, tired of it all. Sorry this blog is so gloomy, but it’s how I’m feeling right now, so…..

Life Lessons

Hello Readers! I hope all has been well with everyone. As for me, well, not so much. I’m still in and out of the hospital, due to the Sickle Cell Crisis’s I’ve been having; and now with my stomach problems on top of that, it’s almost impossible for me to stay out of the hospital for any long period of time. I’m trying to stay positive though, hopefully I’ll get a break from being in the hospital soon…fingers crossed. Anyway, I’ve really been trying to decide on whether or not I should write blogs when I’m not in the hospital and sick. I mostly only write when I’m hospitalized, but I think I’m going to change that (whenever I’m finally out of the hospital, that is). But, I didn’t want to wait any longer to write a blog, so I just decided to do another one while here. I mean, this IS supposed to be about my trials and tribulations of living with Sickle Cell, and that definitely includes being hospitalized so…..well, I wanted to just put my thoughts out there, and see what you all think. It seems the more I get sick and therefore have to be hospitalized, the more I think about life. Not just my life but life in general. When you’re stuck in a place of no forward motion (and for me that means not being able to move on in life because of my sickness) you’re really able to have a greater respect and appreciation for life. It’s funny how, when you’re in the mist of living your day to day life, you don’t realize how blessed you truly are. I feel like, because I’m constantly sick and in the hospital, my life has come to a standstill, in a metaphorical sense, that is. I find myself daydreaming about doing things that would seem, pretty mundane to others. Like going to church, spending time with my friends and family, going out, working…don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed or feeling sorry for myself, I just miss the act of actually LIVING life. I know there are people out there who has it worse than me, so I don’t have a right to be depressed or feel sorry for myself. I’ve really just been trying to take everything that has been going on with me, and examine it all and process it, so that I can receive the lesson that God has for me. It would be easy for me to just give up, and expect my life to always be this way, but I truly believe that in going through all that I am going through, He is preparing me for something greater to come. What that is, I have no idea; this of course, doesn’t mean that after I’m finally feeling better something great is going to happen, and I will never be sick again, of course not. I’m a realist, I know that this disease will be with me, and a part of my life, until the day I die. But I also know that, this isn’t it for me. When you’re sick so often, and have a lot of scary moments, what with: getting dangerous infections, possible blood clots, extreme crisis’s, surgery, blood transfusions, etc…of course, you think about death. When I think about death, it’s not something I fear, I just have a great amount of respect for it. I know this is my one and only life, and if this is where I’m supposed to be in life, then so be it. As long as I’m still able to live, I’m happy. Well, thanks for reading; so glad I did this blog, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Feel free to leave your comments, later Readers!

Am I A Burden??

Hey Readers! I know, I know, I’ve been MIA for awhile now. I’ve missed you guys so much though, trust me, I wanted to write blogs and keep you all up to date on everything thats been going on with me, but I’ve been too sick lately to even think about writing a blog. I really want to update you all on what’s been going on since my last blog; and I will, but right now there’s something else that’s really been weighing heavily on my heart that I want to write about, and get feedback from you guys on. Well, as you all know by now, I have Sickle Cell Disease; I’ll have this disease until the day I die. The thing that’s been really bothering me recently is the fact that my parents play a HUGE role in my life when it comes to dealing with the Sickle Cell. I’ve never thought about it before – maybe it’s because I’m getting older – but I don’t want to become a burden for my parents. I’m 25 years old, they’ve done their job with raising me into the young lady I am today. They should be relaxing, enjoying their life together; not taking care of me every time I get sick. I know they would never admit it to me, but I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with my sickness. When I’m sick, they do everything for me…everything. They’re the ones that stay up at night with me, get me whatever I need, take me to the hospital, wait in the ER with me, come see me almost everyday when I’m in the hospital…..the list goes on and on. This is a huge burden for anybody to bare. My brother is on out of the house, has his own family, living his life. I’m sure my parents thought the same would happen for me, but it hasn’t yet. It’s really difficult even thinking about moving out on my own, when I’m always so sick. But I feel terrible for making my parents deal with my problems. I feel like at my age and my parents age, the roles should be slowly but surely changing. I should be taking care of and doing more for them. And what happens when they get up in age?!…they definitely shouldn’t have to be taking care of me then, I should be taking care of them. I just hate feeling like I’m a burden on them. I know they love me, and would do anything for me, but I don’t want my problems to always be their problems…..okay, just had to get that off my chest; later readers. I’ll be writing another blog soon, telling whats been going on since my last blog before this one. Later! Oh yeah, those are my wonderful parents in the picture!

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Being Optimistic…Even While Sick

These past few months have been extremely hard for me, health wise. I’ve been in and out of the hospital so many times these last few months, it’s crazy. It seems like the older I get, the worse my Sickle Cell gets. I’m not going to lie, it worries me that my sickness is getting worse the older I get. That’s probably why a lot of people with Sickle Cell don’t live to an old age. But studies show that that’s changing, so I’m optimistic. I really just need to start taking better care of myself. I don’t do a lot of things that I should be doing in order to not get sick, but I’m going to really try from now on. Because all of these hospital visits are not cool. I had to have a blood transfusion last night, so I’m hoping that that’ll help me not get sick for awhile. I get to go home today, hopefully I won’t be back for awhile. There’s so much stuff I need to do but I can’t because I’m always sick. I’m also supposed to be going out of town July 4th, but I can’t let myself get excited about it because I can get sick and not be able to go. That’s why I don’t like planning for anything ahead of time, because I get sick right before or the day of. And that’s happened to me a lot, sadly. But like I said, I’m optimistic and believe that things will start getting better for me. Believe and ye shall receive!

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