Hey Reader’s! It’s currently 3 in the morning, and I’m just laying in my bed right now (after having to walk to the bathroom and back), thinking about how crazy it is that my legs can be experiencing the level of pain they are right now, and look completely fine. Like, how is this much pain not visible for all to see?! Yeah, there may be some swelling, but for the times when I don’t swell up (like now), it just blows my mind. I feel like this amount of pain should be physically seen by all. I guess in a way it is, because it’s a lot harder for me to walk, that’s IF I’m able to walk, at all. I’m laying here looking at my legs, and they look as fine as can be…LIES. Anyway, this may just be the pain and pain meds talking. I hope everyone else is having a pain free morning. Later!
Hey Reader’s! 2020 has really been a year of tests in both physical and mental health, it seems. So, I thought this quote was very fitting. Don’t give up, don’t let all the negativity in the world corrupt you. Know that this too shall pass, even when it seems like the finish line is nowhere in sight. God is in control, and the final say is always His! You got this!
When will it stop? When will people realize we are all created equal, and should treat each other as such? I’m tired. I’m tired of constantly seeing black people killed for no reason other than the color of their skin! I have just come to the conclusion that it will never change. Black people have been fighting for equal rights for too long, and we’re still having to deal with the same racist people/government. Jacob Blake was shot IN THE BACK seven times by the police! While protests were going on for this senseless shooting, a 17 year old white male, Kyle Rittenhouse, was able to walk around freely with a AR-15 and shot 3 people, killing 2 of them. Racism is just so blatant now, it’s astonishing. There’s video of officers telling this male: “we appreciate you being here”, while he’s just casually walking around with this semi-automatic rifle. He was even handed a bottle of water from one of the officers in an armed vehicle. Once he shot these 3 people, he casually walked up to a group of police officers and told them that he shot someone. Did they arrest him then? No. They just let him walk on by, completely unharmed. Now, why is it that this white male is still alive after killing people, but Jacob Blake is paralyzed now because he turned his back on the police while trying to get away? So, that’s how it works now? Everyone that tries to flee from the police now don’t get tasered, tackled to the ground, chased, or any other number of tactics to arrest them? Or is this really just because of the color of his skin? Some people are so scared of black people because they feel like we are such a huge threat to them, that they feel the only way to go about things is to kill us. I really try to not let these racist things get to me, and change my viewpoint on things, but it’s getting harder to do. The world is becoming scarier by the day. There’s so many other things to be focused on besides the color of someone’s skin. I will never understand that level of hatred, and I don’t want to. I don’t know what the solution is, or if there ever will be one, but from the looks of it, we’re a long way away from that. I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe whenever I leave my house, because I don’t know if someone will try to harm me because of my skin. I’m tired of it. So sick of the hate.
Hey Reader’s. So, I’ve been having chest pains on and off for over two weeks now. In my previous blog, I wrote about the difficulties of living with Sickle Cell, during a pandemic. Well, one thing I forgot to mention is the fact that I have also been having chest pains, and there is basically nothing I can do about it. Sickle Cell chest pains are already difficult to deal with, I’m sure my fellow Warrior’s can attest to that; pain medication for some reason doesn’t touch chest pain, at all. So, to be dealing with this during a pandemic, is very hard to do. Thankfully it hasn’t gotten as bad as I KNOW it can get (which is crying my eyes out, bad). I have been having slight trouble taking deep breaths, and when I start moving around too much, it hurts worse. I’ve had pneumonia several times, so I don’t think that’s what it is, but if I keep having trouble taking deep breaths, I’m worried that’s what it can turn into. I know that my blood is low, so maybe that has something to do with the pain. I may have to just bite the bullet, and see if the Sickle Cell Day Clinic is even open right now for patients, and go get treatment if it is. I just don’t want to back myself into a corner to where I end up in a really bad crisis, and have no other choice but to go to the hospital. I will definitely keep you guys updated with this, so until next time!
Hello Readers! I hope everyone’s doing well during these difficult times, and staying safe (continue wearing your face masks, and sanitizing!). This pandemic is sadly, far from over, and I’m sure some of you may be wondering how people with pre-existing health problems are functioning during this time. Well, truthfully: by not doing much of anything. Because my immune system is already compromised, I am already high risk of catching infections (and often do catch them). So, this Coronavirus is a very dangerous thing for someone like me. When the virus first started spreading, my Primary Doctor told me straight up that I was very high risk. Because my skin takes so long to heal, and my immune system is weak, she told me I needed to not even risk going out in public, at all. Even having a face mask. It sucks, but my life is more important than a trip to the store. The only time I go anywhere, is for my doctor appointments, and the pharmacy for my prescription’s. Thank goodness for online shopping! Even with that, I have to be careful. When I order groceries, I request that they leave the bags at the door, before touching anything I put gloves on, and wipe down everything with Clorox wipes. The same goes for my amazon packages: I wear gloves and actually wipe the boxes down, before even opening them. Safety is key. It may seem like a lot, but it’s worth it in my opinion. The most difficult thing about this pandemic, is the fact that I can’t just go to the hospital anymore when I’m having a crisis. I was honestly a little scared of getting really sick, when all of this first started. The thought of being in so much pain, and having to just endure it at home, was a little daunting. Then, of course, it actually happened. I got really sick; my whole body was hurting, to the point where I couldn’t even walk on my own. Thankfully I had my medications, and my family here to help me, so I was able to ride out the crisis at home. It was pretty bad too, I had a fever and the pain was intense and lasted for a little over a week. I knew if my fever got higher than a 101.2, I would definitely have to go to the hospital. It stayed low-grade, and finally went away, so that was a relief. The other problem I have been dealing with since this whole pandemic, is the fact that I can’t get blood transfusions during this time. A huge part of treating a Sickle Cell crisis, is blood transfusions. Our hemoglobin levels can get dangerously low, and this effects us very negatively: less oxygen in the body, causes dizziness/light headedness, and makes us hurt A LOT more. I always know when my blood is low, because I get really lightheaded and tired, and start hurting from the slightest things. Now, with Covid, I can’t go to the Sickle Cell Day Clinic and have them check my hemoglobin to see if it’s low or not. I’ve basically just had to walk on eggshells and be extremely careful with everything I do. I can’t overexert myself, because me getting too tired can cause my body to go into a crisis, I have to be careful of the temperatures I’m in, that too, can cause a crisis…it’s just a lot. I have to do it though, because I can’t afford to be in the hospital right now. How have my other Warrior’s been dealing with this pandemic? I truly hope you all are staying safe, and protecting yourselves (and each other)!
“We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.” – John Updike
I love the simplicity of this quote because it’s straight to the point. In life, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. When I’m in pain (which I am now) and going through a Sickle Cell crisis, little quotes like this just reminds me that the pain won’t last forever. Once the crisis is over, I become a survivor, yet again. I will be a survivor, until the last one.
(Well…I thought I published this the day of my birthday, but apparently I didn’t, so…here you go! A few days late, but it still sends the same message.) Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Well, the Lord has allowed me to see another birthday. Honestly, my birthday is never a big deal to me. Don’t take that the wrong way, I’m very thankful for another year of life. I was literally just sick every single year my birthday came around. It’s also nearly impossible to plan for a birthday, when you don’t know if you’ll be sick or not when it comes around. So, I’m just very low key when it comes to that. This year is a little different for me, though. When I was younger, I always just assumed that I wouldn’t live to see my 30s. Studies showed that people with Sickle Cell lived to their early 30s, at the most. So it was always just in the back of my mind that I would probably die before I turned 30. Now, to be sitting here at age 31, is just a blessing to me. I know the life expectancy of a Sickler has gone up since then, but with the progression of how sick I was getting every year: it still didn’t look that good for me. Thankfully, God has the final say, and because of Him, I’ve made it to my 31st birthday!
Hey my fellow Sickle Cell Warriors, and my lovely Readers! I just wanted to do a quick blog updating you all on how my hospital visit is going; this won’t be too long because I’m going to be doing a vlog soon also. Well, sadly I’m still in the hospital, I’ve been here now for a week and I’m sooo ready to leave! I thought for sure I would be leaving today, but of course, that’s not the case. The Doctor put me on a Magnesium I.V. drip, so I know I won’t bee going anywhere today. Hopefully tomorrow (fingers crossed). As you all know, today is Easter; I was really looking forward to being home with my family for today, but that’s not the case. I knew I wouldn’t be well enough to go to church or anything, but I would at least be able to spend Easter Sunday with my family, and have a nice big dinner with them. But, as my Warriors know all too well: Sickle Cell Disease has a mind of its own, and could care less about what we want to do, or have planned. So, here I am, alone and in the hospital on a holiday (once again). There is a bright side to this though… my parents came to the hospital, which I kinda figured they would. But when they got here, they had a gorgeous vase of white lilies and roses for me! They are so pretty, and the smell has the whole room smelling good. They also got me a big chocolate bunny, anyone that knows me, know I love chocolate. I know to some, this may not sound like much, but when you’re cooped up in the hospital with absolutely nothing to do, and you’re feeling down about being there, the littlest things can make you smile. Plus I don’t get flowers when I’m in the hospital, because I’m always there. Sadly, I’m not the only one that’s sick today: my brother is also sick. He started hurting today, and I think they said he was hurting all over, too…..but my brother is so hardheaded! He never goes to the hospital, he just stay home in terrible pain. I don’t know why he does that, especially when he is always lecturing me about going to the hospital. Oh well, I just hope he gets well soon, I hate when my brother is in pain, especially since I know exactly how bad that pain can be. Anyway, I hope you all had a great Easter Sunday, and to all my fellow Warriors: STAY STRONG!
Hey Readers! I just uploaded another video for you all on my YouTube page. Check it out and let me know what you think. Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and comment!! This video wasn’t all that long; I just wanted to let y’all know what’s going on with me while it’s happening, not months later. Let’s get Sickle Cell Disease awareness out there people!
Hey Readers, I’m going to start back doing my Quote Of The Day, blogs. I really enjoy reading and finding the right one, I really hope you all enjoy them as well. When I read this one I could really relate to it; I may cry a lot when I’m in pain from a Sickle Cell crisis, or from frustration, but that by no means makes me a weak person, nor my fellow SC Warriors.